In my fathers bed spank








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My father spanked my child

During my adolescence and all through my 20s I accommodated men sexually as a way of getting attention, as a way to feed my emotional needs. But sometimes the incest felt good -- that special feeling, all that attention and love and affection from my nice daddy. He has no idea that he helped give me a sexual fix that I needed to hold my fragile sense of self together. Jeff would beg me to let him kiss and touch me, and I would tell him no. College corroborates Cohen's testimony. I don't know if I was truly scared or if I simply came to believe I was, but I rarely spent a night in bed by myself until I was 13 years old. He never penetrated me with his penis, but his fingers would routinely enter my tiny vagina. I had developed something of a relationship with a real boy, Jeff, a kid in the new neighborhood. As an added bonus, I had the opportunity to reject unwanted sexual advances, something I was never able to do with Dad. Though the abuse itself ended long ago, the impact is everlasting. And I could tell that it was something bad, shameful, and not to be talked about. The abuse was the center of my universe.

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Louise from Ashburn Age: 23. Meet a guy for a nice meeting.
Description: I had conversations with Charlotte in my head all the time about the ways my father touched me. America is not racist. Jeff would beg me to let him kiss and touch me, and I would tell him no. Once I made my best friend, Jane, pull down her pants and lie across my lap as I pretended to spank her. I began sleeping in my own bed immediately, and I gave up my relationship with Mr. I don't know how we kids knew he was a "perv" -- it was just common knowledge, information passed along, as many things were, by the older, wiser sisters of my peers. I didn't know it would turn sex into an act of shame. My kindergarten teacher caught me gritting my teeth as I pretended to strangle an imaginary attacker. My relationship with Mr. Once when a friend and I were playing at my house, I stuck my fingers in my vagina and asked her to sniff them. Knowing what was ahead, of course I could not sleep. I rarely saw my dad, and when I did he was cold and dispassionate. I didn't have to do it. I initiated every contact. It took me a long, long time to really believe there wasn't anything special about it, that it was all just sick.
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